Let me love you silently
by ROOOOTS
Summary: Sora strife is accustomed to being alone. In fact, he sort of likes it. So when Riku Ivana, an exchange student from Russia shows up, why does Sora suddenly want to be around him so much? If it's not love, it's probably insanity. The latter being likely.
1. warm shades of silver

**A/N: **I've been telling myself for weeks now that I shouldn't write this, because I have too much school work and too much else on my mind to focus on it entirely. However, I haven't been able to stop thinking about this story and writing for those aforementioned weeks. And so, I've taken this as a sign and decided to just write it :) diplomatic thinking ftw huh?

Anyway, here's all the disclaimer lark saying yeah, I **don't** own kingdom hearts or it's characters since they are all property of Square-Enix and Disney, but if I **did**, I'd be totally made ;)

* * *

Placing his last shirt gently into his new drawer, Riku let out a gentle sigh. All packing unpacked, check. Turning back to his new bed in his new bedroom in his new house, he began zipping up the suitcase which had carried his entire life in so securely during the nine hour he had just endured. Compacting it down, he slid the thing beneath his aforementioned new bed, before looking around a little. The room was a stark contrast to the plain white walls it had been when he had first arrived in the morning. With his posters up the room now looked, like home at least. Though, Riku couldn't fight the knot in his stomach that craved the familiarity of Russia. Outside, sun shone relentlessly through the large French window of his bedroom. The golden rays were something Riku was not entirely used to seeing so much, after all, the weather in Russia was less than up to parr with most peoples standards when it came to suitable and pleasant weather. Yet, Riku craved the weather back. Something, anything that reminded him of his true home would have made him feel more at ease.

But there was no snow, no cold wind nipping at your nose. There was nothing Russian about where he lived now, and it was a fact he was going to have to become used to. He sighed gently, looking out the window again for a moment, before a gentle tapping at his new bedroom door brought him back to reality.

"Riku?" His younger sister poked her head slowly round the door, and smiling warmly at her, Riku outstretched his arms. He welcomed her in a tight hug as Alina ran into his arms, tears streaked down her face. No doubt, the extremity of being ripped from her usual home to now being somewhere so utterly different had finally settled in. She shuddered sadly in his arms, and placing a hand on the back of her head, Riku listened as her four year old voice drifted to his ears. Her accent a portion stronger than his light accent.

"I don't want to be here. I miss mama. I miss our house!" Alina sniffled, and Riku sighed gently, placing her down so she sat on his bed. Setting himself down next to her he placed a hand on the back of her head, coming close and rubbing his nose against hers in an Eskimo kiss. On cue, she closed her eyes, allowing him to bring his own eyes close to hers and flutter his them open and closed quickly, making her giggle at the tickling sensation. "Eskimo. Butterfly." It had become routine for Riku to do this to calm her, and of course it worked, and her sniffles had become less now thanks to his tenderness. When she was calmer, he finally spoke, letting her play with a lock of his long hair as she had always done even since she was a baby. It was soothing for Riku to have her do that, just like his Eskimo and butterfly were soothing to her.

"I know this is scary Lina, but you have to understand this is our house now. You haven't really given it much of a chance have you?" He looked down at his sister, who guiltily shook her head, sticking out her bottom lip as she did so. Riku laughed a throaty laugh, shaking his head gently in agreement. "You can't say you don't want to be here if you haven't even tried it first. I'm sure this place will be just as nice as our house. Plus, we have a garden now, and I'm sure if you put your mind to it Lina, you could have so many adventures here. We could together yes?" His sister seemed to brighten, and laughing lightly as she nuzzled close to him for comfort, Riku placed an arm round her. He let her sit there playing with his hair for a little longer, before eventually she grew tired of it.

"Can we explore the garden Riku?" She stuck out her bottom lip, and who was Riku to refuse. He nodded, and quickly she bounded off, not waiting for him to follow, seemingly not noticing that Riku hadn't mentioned anything about her missing their mother. He felt a knot in his stomach, and letting out a long breath, he tried to get rid of it. He didn't need that stress, not with the prospect of going to a new school in the morning lurking. He pushed thoughts of his mother and Russia from his mind, and after a long moment, ran to join his sister in the garden, who was staring eye to eye with a frog as if she had never seen one before.

* * *

Crime was an itchy mother fucker. It was something that Sora wished people would have told him before they clamped him with an electronic tag, and as he reached for what he had labeled his 'scratching ruler', he couldn't help but think life was a little bit unfair that way. People tended to withhold information from him, information which in the real would be considered vital, necessary. Polite even to just divulge. It wasn't like he was requesting a million page guide on the thing which sat presently around his thin ankle, but he would have appreciated some prior warning. Just a small 'this might itch' would have sufficed. Instead he got nothing. Still, his angst and cusses at the itch and the world and the unfairness of it all soon began to dissolve as he slipped the ruler between the skin of his ankle and the strong metal casing of the tag, moving the ruler up and down in a scratching motion that sent shivers up his leg, causing him to twitch a little in relief.

"Oh god...yeah...that's good." Sora fluttered his eyes closed, biting the end of his tongue gently as he continued to scratch. Needless to say it drew attention towards him, but for that relief filled moment, Sora didn't care. He was too lost, to captivated by the satisfaction he felt at no longer feeling like a mosquito had slipped underneath his skin and bitten him, making him itch where he couldn't get at it. Opening his eyes after a moment, he noticed several of his classmates turning to look at him, some with arched eyebrows and most with pure looks of disgust on their faces. He couldn't really blame them, not for looking _or_ for being disgusted; after all, it wasn't every day one of your classmates got tagged and sentenced with a curfew, the sort of curfew where if you broke it, then all hell would soon follow. It wasn't quite house arrest, but it was enough to make his world even smaller than it already felt. Though what really did anger him about the looks, was that they hadn't always been there. Once upon a time, a long long time ago, those same people had liked him profusely. Oh how fickle high school kids could be. Sora was almost ashamed to be one of them.

"Sorry. I had an itch" Sora's lame excuse earned him tuts and tsks from the entire class, with the exception of one cool headed blonde who sat back in his chair, smirking a little at Sora in a way that said 'I'm cool with it, so the whole world soon will be too'. Sora cast a glance at Roxas, returning the smirk, only to have to have it die quickly on his lips. He appreciated his friend trying to keep the atmosphere light by finding some amusement in the situation, but Sora couldn't help but think, what was there to find amusing? Sure, it would probably be pretty funny if he was the third party watching in as some kid scratched obsessively at the skin underneath an electronic tag, he'd be rolling on the floor with hysterics. Laughing the sort of laughter that hurt your stomach and made you feel like you had done about four hundred stomach crunches. But...Sora wasn't the third party. He was the first. It was happening to him, and he wasn't sure if he was entirely comfortable with that thought just yet, even though it had been almost three months. It was just the sort of thing that you never got used to, no matter how many stickers you decorated the thing with, or however many rulers you had broken in the process to scratch. Sora sighed lightly, looking down at his math book gazing at the numbers but not really seeing them. Sora wasn't good at math, that was why he was a writer. Every time he looked at numbers he felt as if he were being asked to calculate the trajectory of a rocket to mars. But none the less he locked his eyes onto the numbers, trying desperately to avoid the stares that were shot his way. He knew what people were saying, he knew unquestionably what they were thinking, because after all, he was thinking it too.

_How the hell did you get into this mess Sora?_

Sora couldn't help but scoff a little, remaining with his eyes glued to the pointless numbers on his page until the bell rang signaling the end of class. He couldn't have grabbed his books quick enough, shoveling them hard into his rucksack, before swinging it equally as violently over his shoulder. Pushing passed classmates, or rather, sliding passed them as they parted before he was moses and they were the red sea, he sided next to Roxas, leaning against the wall as the boy collected his things, engaging him in a somewhat too cool for the world tone of voice.

"How's your itch?" Sora could tell Roxas was biting back laughter, and rolling his eyes, he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well and truly scratched like any itch should be?" Sora offered, cocking an eyebrow. Roxas rolled his eyes at the sarcasm.

"How like you Sora to come up with such a sarcastic and equally as idiotic answer." It was true, Sora could be pretty acrimonious when the occasion called for it, but Roxas made it sound as if sarcasm was the only language Sora knew. It wasn't, but when dealing with Roxas, it was a close call.

"Well, I thought any stark change to my personality might confuse you. And since we all know you have the brain capacity of a teaspoon, I decided to keep it simple. Besides, sarcasm helps prevent you from telling people what you really think of them. I'm not sure you're ready for the truth..." Sora answered Roxas flatly. The boy couldn't help but laugh at the routine banter they shared, and throwing his bag over his shoulder he punched Sora gently in the shoulder as they made their way from the class room. Sora couldn't remember a time when he and Roxas hadn't been friends, it was something he had come to appreciate more than anyone could comprehend. Pushing his brown hair from his eyes and nodding a little, he realized that he might even go as far to say that Roxas was one of his best friends, even if he didn't listen to him when he spoke 95% of the time.

"---I mean, I'd heard the rumors about him in bed but jeez, I was expecting quite _that_ much scratching. You should see my back, it's like passion of the Christ back there!" Sora nodded a little, turning a little green at the last part of the sentence which was the only part Sora had actually caught. Still, you didn't have to listen to the whole conversation to know what Roxas was talking about. The blonde seemed to pick up on Sora's lack of enthusiasm in the conversation, and cocking an eyebrow he scoffed, somewhat offended. "Am I boring you chatty Cathy?"

"It's not that. Just the idea of discussing your many sexual conquests sort of makes me nauseous. Not something I need right before lunch." Really, the idea of discussing anyones sexual conquests made him feel slightly off color. He just wasn't a PDA sort of person. Roxas grumbled, and Sora couldn't help but laugh at the maturity of the boys actions. Truly, he acted about 12. No offense to 12 year olds meant, but the long and short of it was that Roxas was in no way a beacon of teenage maturity.

"Jealousy is not befitting on you Sora."

"But apparently thick as bricks is befitting to you Roxy." Sora smirked, laughing and earning himself another punch from the blonde, who slowly began to sink into sulk mode as they made their way to the cafeteria. Sora was grateful though for the silence, it gave him some time to contemplate, a past time he had suddenly become accustomed too. However, with Roxas silence never lasted long, and as quickly as it had come it was gone again, being replaced by Roxas rambling on about nothing of much importance. Just like most conversations involving Roxas. Sora tuned out for a moment, placing his hands behind his head as they walked. Roxas rambled on still, and even as they waited in the line for food, of which Sora piled high on his plate as per usual, Sora failed to listen. He only looked around the large food hall, searching for his regular place to sit, which all students especially avoided in preparation. You'd think he had some contagious disease instead of an electronic police tag by the way people acted. Still, Sora looked to his normal table anyway, and instantly needed a double take.

_What the..._

There, sitting in _his_ seat, at _his_ table, was a tall silver haired boy whom he had never seen before. His throat tightened in confusion. He felt his hands tremble a little, unsteady under the pressure of his tray that he was grasping hard. Did the boy not know where he was sitting? Or did he know completely, and just had no regard for whether or not someone was wearing a tag? The prospect that someone might actually fail to be prejudice in this hell hole filled Sora with a peculiar feeling of hope, and his eyebrow twitched a little in curiosity. Roxas sided up next to him, half a fry hanging from his mouth. He looked at Sora, then following his eyesight, looked at the silver haired newcomer at their table. He then looked back to Sora, then to the table, then to Sora. A smirk crossed his lips as Sora stuttered slightly over his words.

"W-who is that?" Sora's throat felt dry, his tongue felt like it had become a dead weight in his mouth, and his eyes had become wider than saucers. It was possibly the least attractive face anyone could pull, trust it to be Sora who was pulling it.

"That's Riku Ivana. As in..." He paused thoughtfully, then nodded in a seedy, sleazy way. "Ivana piece of that!" He laughed at his own attempt at humour, and casting his a glance, Sora cocked his eyebrow even further, if that was at all possible without it coming straight off his face.

"Where did you get that joke, lamejokes .com?"

Roxas smirked, retorting quickly. "Yeah, right where you got that one too." Sora opened his mouth to respond, but fell silent before he could. He had to admit, that was a good comeback. Speechless, he rolled his eyes a little, looking back to the boy now known as Riku. He was hunched over as if he were looking at something, something which aroused curiosity in Sora. Funnily enough, that wasn't the only thing aroused in Sora...

_Oh god. That's awkward._

Clearing his throat hastily, Roxas brought Sora back to the real world, and for once as the blonde spoke, Sora actually found himself listening. They were right when they said there was a first time for everything.

"Apparently he's just transferred here from Moscow. Of course he's totally gorgeous, but also has the brains as well as beauty. From what I hear he's all A grades and honor roll. His dad's one of the top businessmen in Russia, worth over a million. He's been number two on the most eligible bachelors list three years running. Drives a Mercedes and, as for sexual preference..." Roxas smirked a little, now focusing his eyes on Riku in a more predatory way than Sora was, running his tongue a little over his teeth in what Sora could only gather was meant to be somewhat sexually alluring. It failed, but he hadn't the heart to tell him. "I'd say he's a bottom."

"You are such a stalker. It's slightly worrying." Roxas beamed, taking Sora's comment as a compliment despite that it clearly wasn't. Laughing lightly, Sora watched as Roxas pranced towards Riku and their table, sitting himself down in front of the silver haired wonder and engaging quickly in a conversation. Figures, Roxas had always been the more approachable of the two, so it was no wonder the pair seemed to get talking so quickly. Riku even had Roxas laughing, though that wasn't hard. Roxas was so easily impressed, he would probably laugh at anything. Still, Sora couldn't help but think that Riku hadn't pushed Roxas away, so a nice guy he might be. Sora wanted to find out for himself, but he couldn't help but feel rooted to the spot. Ever wary of letting new people in, he couldn't help but think that Riku would shun him as soon as he found out about the infamous tag. Looking down at his ankle, Sora sighed gently. This thing was more trouble than it was truly worth.

Had it not been for the large rumble that resounded loudly from his stomach, Sora would have turned away and left the cafeteria. Left Roxas, and Riku and gone to sit in his next class, scratching away. But his hunger got the best of him, and cautiously he approached his far too crowded usual table. Up close, Riku was spectacular to look at. His skin was pale and cold looking like ice, though his bright green eyes held enough warmth and color to make up for what he lacked in skin tone. His hair, long and silver looked soft to touch, and while Sora found himself restraining to run his fingers through it, Roxas apparently had no problem going in for a feel.

"I mean, it's just such a warm shade of silver. I honestly can't believe it's natural." Sora was pretty sure you couldn't get a warm shade of silver, though he was surprised by Roxas's comments. The boy would say anything if he wanted to get some action. Sora rolled his eyes a little, sitting down a seat away from the pair and tucking into his food, though he found himself somewhat distracted, every now and then looking up to watch Riku for a moment.

"So tell me, what brings you to our side of the pond? Russia too cold?" Roxas smiled, laughing in a big to seem once again, sexually alluring. Sora almost choked on a fry at the attempt, but luckily enough, disguised it as a cough/clearing his throat sort of action. But there was no denying what he saw. Riku looked in his direction, smiling a little in amusement.

_Oh god. He's looking right at you. Don't look, just keep your eyes firmly on your food and keep quiet. That's it Sora, good job, Just stay really still and maybe he will think you aren't really there. Or that you've died and he won't need to talk to you. Just, whatever you do, don't look at him. Fuck, you looked. Why did you look? Now this is going to be seven shades of awkward and it's all because you couldn't keep your damn eyes to yourself!_

"What's your name?" That voice brought Sora out of his inner ramblings, and narrow eyed he looked over to see a smiling Riku, leaning forward in his direction, as if he had to do so to get an answer from Sora. Sora couldn't believe how beautiful and green his eyes were. Sora couldn't breathe, no matter how much he wanted to take air into his lungs, it just wasn't happening. So he simply stopped breathing, just sitting there red faced and narrow eyed. Riku cocked an eyebrow, smiling again in that stupid amused grin. That was something Sora didn't like about the boy. It was an obnoxiously tiny grin which didn't suit his face and actually made him look somewhat pathetic, stupid even. If he was meant to be as intelligent as Roxas had said, he sure wasn't making himself appear that way. Sora summarized that he was probably doing that for one of two reasons. One: he wanted to appear stupid so he wouldn't be pestered for being a nerd and would therefore make himself more popular, ergo, actually making him a pretty stupid person indeed. Or two: he had no real concept of just how horrible a grin it was, and actually thought it was attractive, ergo, also making him a pretty stupid and clueless person. Either way, Sora found himself doubting the boys apparent intelligence.

"This here is Sora "Silent as the grave" Strife. Don't be put off by his lack of words, he's not as bad as he looks." Roxas spoke, placing a hand over the side of his mouth as if he were divulging some huge secret to Riku that Sora wasn't meant to hear. Sora didn't glance up from his food which he had now begun boring a hole into with his eyes once more. Had he been looking, he would have seen the corner of Riku's mouth upturn in amusement.

"Sora." He's saying your name. Still, it didn't send shivers up his spine like Sora had anticipated, in fact, it did the opposite. It wasn't that Riku had a horrible voice, but for some reason, his name didn't sound very pleasant the way he said it. Through his light Russian accent the a sounded a little strange. Sora didn't move, or make any sudden attempt to show he had acknowledged Riku. "It's a nice name. I'm Riku." Again, there was no movement on his part, and after a while Riku seemed to have got the message. Sora felt a little deflated when Riku returned to talking to Roxas intently. Why couldn't that be him? Why couldn't he just give in and engage himself in the conversation? Somehow, pride and caution wouldn't let him. So instead he just sat there, silently listening to what the two were saying, occasionally stealing glances at Riku when the boy wasn't looking. He was surprisingly fascinated by the boy, even if he did appear to be less intelligent than Roxas had portrayed him.

_God, how much would you love to nibble on that utterly fantastic jawline? _

Sora almost choked again, and with a slight grunt of disapproval, pushed himself up from where he sat and began to stalk away. He heard Roxas call his name a little confused, and for a second he almost thought it had been Riku saying his name. Though, he didn't turn round to see, and merely carried on walking with his hands thrust hard in his pockets, clenched into fists. How rude it was of this boy to just pop up and start making him feel all strange. It wouldn't do, and Sora made a mental note as he walked and was watched by the majority of students as he did, that he would have to begin avoiding Riku Ivana and his perfect jawline at all costs. For the sake of his own sanity at least.

* * *

"I can't believe you didn't just love the first day back after summer." Sora bundled himself into his car as Roxas continued to talk. While there was a suitable adjective to describe Sora, such as inept, there was nothing that was ever quite extreme enough to describe Roxas. Standing at 6'1, with broad shoulders and a fine mass of thick blonde hair atop his head, he was one of the best looking boys Sora knew. Everything he did was usually so perfect that Sora couldn't help but wander if maybe it was bordering on criminal. Either way, it was unfair that Sora hadn't been there the day they handed out all the perfect, since Roxas seemed to have acclaimed it all.

"What's to be excited about exactly? The idea of school just makes me want to run to the nearest noose." Sora pushed the chair back, trying to accommodate his long legs in the tiny sports car that Roxas proudly called 'Baby'. It was one of those cars with rich Italian leather interior, and it didn't need a key. All it required was a simple press of a button and hey presto, the world was your oyster to drive like a psycho in. What really irked Sora about the car, was that there were no backseats. What kind of car had no seats? More importantly, what was the point of a car that had no backseats? Sora didn't know about everyone else, but the backseat was where most of his life was, he tossed all the important stuff into the backseat, and while some casualties did occur and Sora would never find the odd piece of work or the odd key ever again, it was where most of his valuable possessions rested. And his backpack. Now, he was forced to squash it between his legs, mumbling in that miserable old man tone he had come to acquire before his time, about the lack of spacial awareness when it came to cars. There just simply was no enough room. For his bags or his legs, which themselves weren't exceptionally long. Compared to Roxas's long legs, Sora's were tree stumps. Though Roxas did have exceptionally long limbs. Hell, Roxas himself was just an elongated being. Sora had no idea how he got into the car so easily since his legs were a great deal larger than his. Knees essentially tucked under his chin, he glanced at Roxas who, of course, slid graciously and perfectly into the drivers seat, looking seven shades of elegant as he did so. Sora hated him for a moment. _Why can't I look like that getting into a car?_

"Wow, that's bleak." Roxas cocked an eyebrow, staring at Sora as if he were from another planet. Sora didn't appreciate it one bit, though he couldn't deny that the feeling of Roxas staring so intently at him made him feel a little giddy, hot even. Blushing a little Sora looked away. It was true, sometimes his thoughts were a little bleak, but he couldn't help it. He just didn't enjoy school quite as much as everyone else. He didn't stand out at school as anyone extraordinary, so he just sort of slid right through, getting on with it as quietly as he could. It was nothing personal to the people there, it was just...how things were. Clearing his throat a little, he tried to appear unfathered, though the feelings were still there in the pit of his stomach. He looked up to see Roxas caught in mid sentence, talking as if Sora had actually been paying attention. Funny, he'd barely even noticed the boy start the car and begin the drive to school, how did he miss something like that? "--and we're seniors now too. Surely that's gotta cheer you up right? I mean, theres so many perks now. We start school later, we leave earlier, we can go off campus during the day..."

"We don't have to come back next year?" Sora chipped in, that was by far his favourite among the list of high school senior privileges. Roxas shrugged, nodding a little in agreement, even if he didn't completely agree.

"Sure. If that's your silver lining." Roxas beamed, and Sora shook his head dumbfounded by the moments pause before Roxas returned to listing the perks of senior year. As Sora listened to him, the sound of the boys voice told him he would probably never leave. Why would he want to, he had a name at school, a place even. To Roxas, leaving school was not a perk, but to Sora it was the one prospect keeping him going. He wasn't going to miss high school in the least, and the idea of leaving it brought new opportunities to Sora. He would finally be free to get out of this town, this small suffocating town where turning a corner meant you ended up straight back on your doorstep. He sighed a little, resting his head against the car window and focusing on the scenery as it zipped passed. School was only minutes away now, and Sora couldn't help but just sigh.

_Yeah, that's my silver lining alright._

"And plus, we have some new talent this year." Roxas wiggled his eyebrows, and that caught Sora's attention. Talent? What? He inwardly pleaded with the gods not to let Roxas say that one name he had been desperately trying to erase from his memory. But apparently, no gods were listening to him. "Riku Ivana. Oh what I would do to you..." Roxas trailed off into a land of his own, no doubt sexual, thoughts. Grunting Sora folded his arms across his chest.

"Jesus, one track mind much Roxas. I mean come on, the guy isn't that hot. And plus, he's quite clearly not the sharpest tool in the toolbox is he? He's probably going to end up like all the other kids at school, acting all self righteous holier than thou, and it's going to be a complete waste of any potential he does have, because essentially, he's just a pretty face. Trust me, I can tell. So here's what I think of Riku Ivana, nothing. Because he's going to end up just like everybody else. Mark my words Roxas, he's a clone." Sora exploded. All the frustration he had been holding in all day about everything, not just Riku, though 75% of it was his brief exchange with the boy that had frustrated him, came pouring out in one long string of verbal vomit. Out of breath, Sora huffed, only seconds later to be followed by the screeching of tires. He looked across at Roxas, who looked...annoyed? Narrowing his eyes at Sora, Roxas extended a long finger, thrusting it in his face.

"Now you listen to me Mr Strife. I've had just about enough of your 'I'm so hard done by' attitude, and while I'm normally accepting of your pessimism, today, I just can't be fucked with it." He huffed a little, and reaching over, pulled the door handle on Sora's door, opening it wide at the sidewalk. "So on that note, you can walk home."

_Oh god, this is classic. _

"Are you seriously throwing me out of your car?"

"Yes, yes I am. I'm sorry Sora, but this might be good for you. The walk will teach you something." Roxas looked almost sincere now, like he actually believed himself and what he was saying.

"What? That you're a terrible friend for leaving me stranded on the sidewalk?" Sora raised an eyebrow, narrowing his eyes a little after as Roxas just shrugged, acting as cool as you like about the whole situation.

"Maybe. All I know, is that if you stay in my car, you will drive me insane. And I don't look good in crazy. So please, mind your head on the way out and exit the vehicle." He sounded so professional, that Sora thought maybe Roxas had done this before.

"This is bullshit." Sora grabbed his bag from between his legs, awkwardly getting out of the car in a fit of anger, which he was trying hard to suppress. Slamming the door behind him, he stood, looking through the electric window as it opened up to allow Roxas to peek through. The boy smirked now, obviously pleased with himself.

"Consider it more of an intervention. A time for reflection. A time for some much needed self assessment even!" Sora narrowed his eyes, tempted to flip him off, but instead keeping his hands balled tight into fists. Roxas smirked once more, pressing one of his fancy buttons in his fancy car and rolling the window up, shutting Sora out before hastily making a getaway before the brunette had a chance to jump on top of the car, demanding a ride home. But, it would be wasted energy, and flinging his bag over his shoulder, Sora sighed. Thunder cracked through the air, and slowly rain began to trickle from the sky above.

_Note to self: Find new best friend. _

Cussing Roxas under his breath, Sora began his walk towards home, his brown hair sagging and matting to his face as the rain became harder. This, he found, really summed up his life. If this was what Roxas had intended to happen, to show him that his life was just one long walk home in the rain with no jacket or umbrella, then Roxas deserved an award for his success. The rain increased a little more, and hugging his arms tight around him, Sora tried to ignore the cold stabbing of the wind as it brushed against his wet skin. Summer was most definitely over, that was for sure. Sighing a little, Sora made several mental notes to pass the time of the long walk. Caught up in his thoughts, he barely gave recognition to the beeping of a cars horn, or said car siding up the sidewalk next to him. He barely even noticed the electric window wind down in similar fashion to how Roxas's had. Still, when he did realize, Sora cocked an eyebrow. From inside, a face, one he never really wanted to see or welcomed for that matter of fact, peered back at him stricken with worry as he took in Sora's wet state.

"Do you need a ride Sora?" The way his voice sounded in that stupid accent of Riku's made Sora's blood boil. Why did he make it sound so common, so stupid a name by saying the a for a little to long? Did he have no general grasp on the English language? Sora shook his head silently, wrapping his arms tighter around him. He'd be damned if he was getting in the car with Riku Ivana in this lifetime, or the next.

"Sora. Please." And with the final please, Riku flashed his startling eyes towards Sora in all seriousness. And Sora's resolved crumbled, and before he knew it, he was buckling himself into the front seat of what was not a Mercedes, but an obviously second hand car which had seen obviously, better days.

_I guess Roxas was wrong. _


	2. sex doesn't make a man

**A/N:** So I'm feeling pretty giddy about this story. I did some major pen to paper planning about it, and have pretty much planned the entire thing during my history lesson. Probably the most productive thing I've done in history all year tbh. Anyway, massive props and love love love to outwitted, Yume the devil, Chronos for their reviews :) your comments made me feel all good and inspired to carry on with the story when I read them. So bearing that in mind, shall we get on with the next chapter?

Anyway, here's all the disclaimer lark saying yeah, I **don't** own kingdom hearts or it's characters since they are all property of Square-Enix and Disney, but if I **did**, Riku and Sora would spend the majority of the game making out.

* * *

Riku talked too much. Sora noticed that the boy was particularly chatty the longer the car journey dragged on, and despite all his best attempts to appear stoic and silent, Riku didn't quite seem to get the message that talking wasn't the way to go with the boy. Apparently when it came to a conversation with Riku, resistance was futile. This just became something else Sora held against the boy, not that that silenced Riku either. Sora wasn't going down without a fight, he used every ounce of will in his body to keep silent, and too look out of the window in a bid to stop himself from staring at Riku in a way he knew he wouldn't be able to help otherwise. Riku continued to speak, and Sora couldn't help but feel an irked twitch of his eye and a contradictory pleasant upturn at the corner of his mouth as the boy babbled on, speaking both excitedly and wistfully at the same time.

"This place is so pleasant and warm. I mean, even now when it's raining it still feels really hot. Does that happen often? I've never been to a place where that happens, and it certainly doesn't happen in Russia. Have you ever been to Russia? It's a great place, I'm sure you'd like it. Not that I'm assuming anything about your personality, or forcing Russia on you, I'm just...recommending it so to say. Does that bother you? I have this habit of just talking sometimes---" And that was how the conversation continued for the first half of the journey to Sora's house. Riku would talk, then ask a question, and before Sora could even contemplate answering, he was back again with more talking. Sora figured the questions he asked weren't actually meant to be answered, they weren't designed for that purpose at all. And it was worse, because he knew he was doing it. He knew how much he was talking and how undeniably annoying it was, but that still didn't stop him. It was ignorance at it's best. Sora couldn't help but resent that about his personality. Overtly chatty people did not stand high in his regards, after all, he could only just stand to be around Roxas, but even then the majority of the time they spent together was with Sora physically restraining himself from ripping the other boys hair out in annoyance.

_But the only pulling of hair you want to do with Riku is the sexual kind. Clearly._

Sora mentally slapped himself. He did in no way, want to sexually tug at Riku's apparently tuggable hair. Even though it did tease him, hanging there with his bangs lightly in his face, slightly shielding those eyes that seemed to Sora to be looking straight into his soul. As cliché as that sounded, it was true. Sora could feel his fingers twitch slightly in agreement, as if they were saying 'Go on...touch him.' tempting him to do so. With thin tight lips, Sora looked away, staring at the scenery outside as Riku drove at a casual safe speed. It seemed strange to Sora; there was nothing particularly exciting about Riku, there was no real or apparent fire to his personality, he didn't appear to be a thrill seeking individual, and while his hair was such an extraordinary shade of silver and his eyes were a dazzling green, Sora could safely admit, he'd seen better. So why, he questioned, did he find the boy so interesting? Interesting enough that he would get in a car with him at least. It was an enigma that Sora found he had gotten so wrapped up in, that he failed to notice Riku asking him a question that he was actually meant to answer this time. It wasn't until he felt Riku nudge him with his elbow that he showed any recognition.

"What?" Sora frowned, not meaning to bark at Riku, but not feeling sorry for doing so either. He didn't like to be elbowed, who did? But he was sure this didn't excuse his harsh tone, and just when he'd expected Riku's face to fall in hurt, the silver haired boy laughed under his breath, shaking his head ever so lightly it was as if the movement hadn't happened.

"I don't know the way to your house."

"Oh." Sora was silent for a moment after his short utterance, and looking out of the window he tried to pinpoint exactly how far they had come. Looking around he saw familiar sights, and while they were still at least twenty minutes from his own home, he had to admit that they had come a long way. Sora had barely noticed the time pass or exactly how far they had come until now, and since it wasn't the engaging conversation that had preoccupied his mind, he put his lack of _knowing_ down to pure lack of _caring_. After all, it didn't matter how long it took to get home, just as long as he got there. Though sooner rather than later would have been appreciated in this case. The idea of being stuck in the car with Riku and his inane rambling much longer was beginning to pose a threat to his sanity.

"You can just drop me off here if you want. My house is still another twenty minutes away, it seems a bit pointless to have you drive me all that way when you'll only have to double back on yourself to get back to town." Sora hated and loved living so far away from school. Most times it was a good thing, it not only worked to increase the distance we was allowed to travel without his tag setting off alarms for those watching him, but it meant that he could safely look out of his window and not see the embodiment of hell that was his high school. Those were obvious perks. But with the good comes the bad, and the fact that it took exceptionally long journeys to get to and from school, was most definitely a con.

"Surely though, if it takes twenty minutes in a car from here, it will take you longer on foot?" Riku cocked an eyebrow, and looked ugly doing it. Smug actions like that didn't suit his face which looked so angelic and pristine. Sora wanted to tell him, but politely refrained for the time being. Sora noted the way Riku said what he had, as if he were trying to make some really elaborate and obvious point that he thought Sora should know and that he took great pride in bringing to his attention. What he failed to take into account, was that Sora didn't really care.

"Probably." Sora shrugged, unphased. What exactly was he trying to get at? Was he trying to say that Sora wouldn't possibly be able to walk that long? Raining, it was. But invalid, he was not. He was entirely capable of walking home, whether it took twenty minutes, thirty minutes, or even an hour. He would do it just to get home.

_Perhaps you should explain your 'I don't care how long' theory too him? Though this would actually require talking to him, thus actually requiring you to act like a __sociable human being__. Perhaps maybe it is best if you walk Sora, clearly polite conversation is too much for you. _Sora wanted to scream at his mental self, but Riku once again caught his attention before he could become too absorbed in himself.

"Then, theoretically, it would be wiser for me to drop you off actually at your house right? After all it's raining, you're cold, and will probably catch your death if you go outside again. Do you catch colds often Sora? I don't want to be the one responsible for your getting, I don't know, hypothermia or something---" Oh god, there is was again. The Riku way of conversation. He wanted to stop Riku, to tell him that yes it might have been raining but actually, Sora wasn't that cold, in fact he felt quite warm and comfortable, though he figured this was probably thanks to the heating of Riku's otherwise failing car. He also wanted to say that no, he didn't catch colds often, in fact it was rare for Sora to ever get sick with anything, so Riku probably could let Sora walk home and be able to sleep easy knowing that he wasn't suffering from a case of hypothermia. Despite wanting to say all this, he didn't, and frowning Sora couldn't believe he'd got himself into this situation. Sighing irately he crossed his arms, interrupting Riku, most probably for the good of all mankind as well as himself.

"Look, whatever. If you _are_ going to drop me off at my place, which I can tell from the look on your face you intend to do, you missed the turning about five minutes back that way." Sora pointed behind him, pinning Riku with a fiercely irritated stare. There was no mistaking the satisfaction on Riku's face. Sora paused in his anger, cocking an eyebrow as Riku coolly did a U-turn, still smiling that smug satisfied sort of smile. Sora wanted to slap it right off, but politely, refrained. "What's so funny?"

"You don't like me much do you?" The abrupt and from nowhere question caused Sora to pause a little, noting that this was the first question that Riku had asked without following it up with more inane babble. In doing so, he put Sora into a position that, ideally, he didn't want to be in. What was he meant to say to that? The truth of course would be best, it would work in keeping Riku off Sora's back, and Sora himself could emerge himself back into his normal lifestyle of ignoring just about everyone until college rolled around. Yet, the truth would also mean Riku wouldn't talk to him anymore, he'd probably realize just how much he was wasting his time trying to befriend Sora, meaning he'd start spending his time elsewhere. Not with Sora. The brunette didn't know why, but this bothered him. Not because he liked Riku, but the idea of his absence was a little unsettling.

"I don't see how thats relevant to anything we're talking about." Sora cocked an eyebrow, mentally cheering at his skillful avoidance of the question. If he couldn't tell him the truth, then Sora could easily just distract the boy by pussy footing around actually answering it.

"Talking? We aren't talking at all. The whole car ride you've been glaring at the window. I'd say that makes it completely relevant." Goddamn him for being so annoyingly right, it made Sora hate him all the more. Frowning intensely Sora tried to avoid Riku's amused glances, and rolling his eyes opted for the unapproachable arms crossed over chest stance. If Riku wanted to have this discussion, then Sora wouldn't be held responsible for any pride damaged during it's making.

"I just don't have much to say. It doesn't mean I don't like you." Sora paused, only realizing that saying that made it sound as if Sora did like him. Oh god, Riku was playing an unintentional mind game with him, and Sora's brain felt a little frazzled already. Frowning, he quickly carried on, trying to deter Riku from what he had just said. Luckily the boy didn't show much recognition to what Sora had said, something Sora was thankful for. "I neither like, nor dislike you. I just, don't know you." Riku cocked his eyebrow again, and Sora noted that he still looked hideous doing so. There were some things certain people should never do. With some, they should never wear yellow. With Riku, it was cocking his eyebrow, smiling lopsidedly, looking in Sora's general direction. The list went on.

"Well, you seem like you don't want to know me." Rikusounded less amused as he said that, and for a moment, there was a pause. Sora looked to his left, signaling with his hand for Riku to turn, who followed the silent instruction with a neat turn, pulling into a road that appeared to go on forever in a long line of large houses. Sora motioned once again silently to carry straight on, and let the silence in the car continue. Relief swept over him that maybe he had escaped the awkward and in his mind, totally unnecessary conversation. Alas, Riku was apparently not one to let these things just drop. "So? Am, I right?"

_Why, are you one of those people that needs to be right all the time in order to feel somewhat good about yourself? Then yes, you are right. I don't want to know you, I don't want to be friends with you, and I most certainly do not want to be having this conversation with you....However, the idea that you might never talk to me again does actually make me feel a little sick, so if we could swiftly move on from this conversation and go back to our comfortable silence, I'd be eternally grateful. _

"I don't see the point in making new friends. Everyone is going to be going off to college at the end of the year, and any new friends I make now aren't going to be true friends that last forever. So whats the point?" Sora shrugged, not saying what he wanted to say, but speaking the truth none the less. He knew who he would be keeping in touch with when he went to college, and any new friends he might make now were never going to be a major part of his life. The way he saw it, was that he was too far into his high school life to forge strong trusting bonds with people, it was partly the reason why he spent most of his time with Roxas. As much as the boy grated on his nerves, he could calmly admit that he trusted the boy. He looked across at Riku, noting that his reaction was one of..shock? Outrage? Incredulousness? The silverette shook his head, once again following the motion of Sora's to turn another corner. Sora was about to begin wondering what the boy was thinking, but didn't have to wait long as Riku's voice, now soft and slightly taken aback filled the car.

"What's the point? The point of friends are so you don't feel alone. I understand you might not be with these people for the rest of your life but, that doesn't mean they shouldn't be a part of it at all." Sora frowned, clearly offended. Who did this guy think he was? Sora had signed up for a ride home, not a lecture on how he should be living his life. "No one likes to be alone Sora."

"Have you ever thought that maybe this is why people don't want to get to know you? I mean, you've had like, what a thirty minute conversation with me and now thats apparently you now know me well enough to tell me how to live my life? There is such a thing as being over friendly." Sora's voice showed the offense he felt. He didn't know where Riku was getting off telling Sora how to live his life, but he needed to urgently book a ticket back to the real world. You couldn't just do shit like that, because as far as Sora was aware, people didn't react well to being told what to do.

"I was only offering my advice Sora, I didn't mean to offend you..." The look on Riku's face showed that he was genuinely apologetic. His brow furrowed, and Sora could tell from his darting eyes that he wanted to fix them completely on Sora. Had he not had to keep his eye on the road, Sora knew he would have done just that. But it was too late, the damage had already been done, and no amount of apologizing could ebb out the insult Sora felt pricking at him.

"Well, I don't need your advice. In fact, the only thing I need from you is to stop the car." Sora huffed a little, grabbing his bag in preparation to jump out and walk the rest of the distance to his house. The atmosphere in the car had become too much, and judging by the way Riku sighed and reluctantly pulled the car to a halt at the sidewalk, Sora knew he must have realized this too. Sora had known that the second he had chosen to accept the lift home from Riku he would regret it, and as usual he had been right. He found himself even more irked by Riku than he had been earlier, and it was obvious amongst the both of them that the car ride had done more damage than it had good. As soon as the car was completely stationary, Sora flung the door open, grabbing his backpack and bundling himself out of the car faster and less elegantly than he had planned. Catching his foot on the seat belt as he escaped, Sora stumbled slightly regaining his composure quickly but still managing to look as if he were practicing river dance. Riku frowned, peering out from the window at Sora as if he actually cared.

"Are you---" Sora didn't listen, instead he only slammed the car door, throwing his bag violently over his shoulder and stalking away in a sulk that radiated maturity. Grabbing the edges of his coat he pulled it tighter across his body to shield himself from the rain, which truthfully seemed to have increased upon his leaving of the car. It was as if it were mad at him for leaving Riku, and wanted to show him just how mad it truly was. Sora grumbled, and reluctantly threw a look over his shoulder to see Riku's car still sitting there. He couldn't see them, but he knew full well that big emerald eyes were watching him stalk away in the rear view mirror. Life had never felt so Big Brother.

_No one likes to be alone Sora._

Sora scoffed, but wanted to scream at how right Riku had been. "Stupid Riku..."

* * *

Riku watched Sora carefully in the rear view mirror as he stalked away. He wasn't entirely sure what to make of the boy, though there were things he couldn't deny about the brunette that attracted him. First, was his fresh and honest take on the world. Riku had always been surrounded by people who saw the world as puppies and rainbows, and instead of shunning it, Riku sort of welcomed Sora's pessimism, it made him feel grounded like knew where he stood with Sora, even if he wasn't standing where he wanted to be with the small brown haired boy. The second thing he felt pulled him towards the boy, was the way in which he said what he meant. It was a quality that Riku wished more people possessed, himself included. He knew he would never be able to have that sense of honesty about him, he would just be too scared of hurting someones feelings. Sora however didn't seem so worried. Glancing up at the rear view mirror again, Riku found he was looking dead on with Sora who had turned ever so slightly to look back at the car he had so hurriedly left. Part of Riku wanted the boy to be looking at him, but he knew full well the only reason he'd turned to look was to see if Riku was pulling away like he so obviously wanted. Defeated, Riku tore his eyes away from the rear view mirror and put the car back into drive. His second Fiat, which had seen better days, made a horrible clunking sound as he did so, sufficing to signal to Sora that Riku was about to pull away and leave him alone. Riku stole a glance to the mirror, seeing that this relieved the boy, who had now wrapped his arms tight around his small body to shield himself from the cold rain that pelted down on his unrelenting. Riku's heart went out to him, and he had to resist the sudden urge to envelope him in his arms and carry him back to the warmth of his car. Instead, he began to pull away, knowing that this would please Sora, even though it killed him to do so. He had no idea why, but he found himself wanting only to make the boy feel good, feel happy, and like him in return for doing so. Riku blushed intensely at that thought, and muttering before he did so, began to pull away down the street, watching every now and then as he saw Sora becoming smaller in the rear view mirror.

"Get a grip Riku..."

* * *

"So how was it in the car with Riku?" Sora sighed in exhaustion, holding the phone up to his ear lazily he threw himself down on the bed, landing flat on his back and bouncing slightly on his springy mattress with the impact. Roxas's voice sounded small on the end of the phone, and despite the lack of a 'Hello Sora' or a 'How you doing Sora?! It's Roxas', Sora knew it was him. There was no mistaking the sound of that overly hyper tone of voice and the smugness that came with it. It had the Roxas lilt to it, something no one could mimic. Sora cocked an eyebrow, squirming a little as he felt the familiar itch at his ankle. He tried to persevere for a moment, until eventually he had to give in and reach over for a nearby ruler, slotting it between his skin and the tag and itching away.

"Excuse me? How did you know I drove home with Ivana?" Sora frowned, smelling a rat. Roxas made a slight groaning sound on the end of the phone.

"Oh god, you're referring to him by last name only? That never means good things with you." Roxas sighed at the end of his sentence, and as Sora flopped back down to lay on his back discarding his ruler, he frowned.

"You haven't answered my question. How did you know I drove home with him?" There was a short pause, and Sora could only imagine the story Roxas was trying to concoct in order to wrangle his way out of this one. Sora began swatting at the dreamcatcher he had dangling about his bed. It wasn't there because Sora suffered from nightmares and needed them gone, it was just more there because Sora liked the security it provided. He felt like he couldn't have nightmares with it there, like they didn't have the chance to infiltrate his mind. He swatted at it again, allowing Roxas a moment longer to collect his story together, before he abruptly cleared his throat, gaining the boys attention. Roxas bumbled a little, tripping over his words as he attempted to get them out and have them sound genuine at the same time.

"I felt bad about leaving you on the sidewalk. You've never noticed how much of a great friend I am, so I can see why you'd think this is impossible, but I did feel really guilty. So I came back to come get you again, figuring you probably wouldn't have got far, and when I pull up, what do I see?" He paused for dramatic effect, in true Roxas style. "You, Mr strife, getting into Riku Ivanas car!" He exclaimed it as if it were something so major that it were almost news worthy, and rolling his eyes Sora pushed himself up, sitting with a slight slouch as he stared at the ceiling, lolling his head back. He was sure that Roxas probably hadn't doubled back to pick him up again, and he was slowly opening up to the idea that perhaps Roxas had planned the whole thing. But as usual with Roxas you would probably never know the whole story or the whole truth, and Sora had realized some time ago that it was pointless. Trying to figure out the truth with Roxas, was like trying to complete a rubix cube drunk. Nothing ever matched up, but you always came away thinking you'd cracked it, only to be disappointed next time you looked at it.

"Did you not think of stopping me and saving me from what I can only describe as being the car ride embodiment of hell?" Roxas chuckled a girly pathetic chuckle on the other end of the phone, causing Sora to frown. Did he not understand how bad it had been? Sora didn't know how more blatantly obvious he could make it, though he was sure Roxas wouldn't care anyway. The boy liked to play games, and apparently Sora had become his newest pawn.

"Lighten up. I just didn't want to ruin your game." Sora lifted an eyebrow at Roxas's words, before frowning intently.

"What game? I don't have game."

"Apparently so. If you did you wouldn't be talking to me on the phone right now. You'd be with Riku, doing all kinds of nasty and unspeakable things. Isn't that what you want?"

_Yes. YES. YES!_

"No, I don't want that in any way, shape or form."

_LIES! _

Sora mentally attacked himself, blushing like a madman at the thought of doing things like what Roxas had no doubt imagined with Riku. There would probably be biting involved, and the phrase 'sucks like a vacuum cleaner' came to mind. He noted Roxas chuckle once more on the end of the phone, knowing what Sora was thinking during the short silence between them. That boy certainly did have a one track mind, and apparently it was rubbing off on Sora. The brunette shook his head, bringing himself back to the more PG-13 real world. Downstairs, he could hear a faint knocking at the door, no doubt this being the routine police check up to make sure he was home and up to only good things. Sora rolled his eyes, swinging his legs over the side of his bed and placing his feet on the cold wooden floor, still holding the phone to his ear, listening as Roxas broke the silence he had allowed to happen, no doubt just to make Sora conjure up a visual aid to go with his lewd suggestion.

"You might not want it, but you need it. Would it kill you to lighten up a bit? You're brooding routine is starting to get a bit...tired." Sora padded downstairs, carefully stepping over his rucksack which he had hastily discarded at the bottom of the stairs when he had rushed into the house, earlier being so eager to escape Riku he had barely had time to think about where he threw things. He just wanted to stop feeling so under inspection from those big green eyes that he could still see so clearly now, despite the animosity he felt for the Russian.

"Sex doesn't make a man. It makes an addict. Besides, no one said you have to put up with my brooding if you didn't want to. You know where the door is in this friendship, feel free to use it anytime Roxas." The comment had meant to hurt, but as usual the super and spice boy on the other end of the phone didn't feel at all offended, and instead just tutted through his teeth at Sora's attempt to be a horrible person.

"I know the reason for all this tension. Why else do you think I offered Riku up on a platter for you?"

"So you admit you had something to do with all that happened today?" There was a slight pause after Sora's comment, and smirking a little he could hear the boy on the other end mutter 'Fuck.' Before Sora could speak again, he was met with the sound of static, or what he could more specifically pin point as a candy wrapper being crushed in Roxas's hand at the mouth piece of the phone. From behind the rustling, Sora made out Roxas's voice, shouting to be heard over his fake static.

"Sora?! I'm so sorry I'm...er...going through a tunnel. I can't hear you, you're breaking up. I'll call you later. Bye Sor---" With that, Roxas ended the call, and Sora was met with the flat dialing tone. He rolled his eyes at his friends lack of common sense. How could he think that would fool him? Cutting off the dialing tone and ending the call at his end, Sora placed the phone gently on a nearby table. The gentle wrapping came from the door again, and sighing, Sora picked up his spirits enough to answer it. As he did so, Sora looked up into the one constant face in his life, that smiled down at him in return. It was rare for someone to have such a healthy relationship with their probation officer, but for Sora, his had filled the role of the brother that had left him and landed him in this mess in the first place.

"What took you so long Cloud, I thought for a second there that you weren't coming." Sora smirked, and it worked on his face. When he did it, he couldn't help but think back to when Riku had, and how much it had not suited him. He felt a little satisfaction that it worked for him, just one more thing he could hold against the smug Russian boy who, quite clearly, stood in low regards with him right now. Shrugging his shoulders a little, Sora's probation officer slid his way inside the house, letting Sora close the door behind him. Cloud was tall, one thing a person noticed when they first met him, and bore on top of his head some of the most dazzling blonde hair a person would ever see. His face was an exceptionally kind looking one, and a person couldn't help but smile upon seeing it. Even Sora. The blonde chuckled a deep chuckle, standing in the doorway as he rifled through his rucksack. He seemed young to be a probation officer, but Sora had figured out upon first meeting him that this was an intentional factor in their relationship. After all, Sora himself was a young offender, and he figured the powers that be would probably find him being more receptive to someone nearer his own age than some balding fifty year old ex marine. So far, they had been right.

"Oh you know me, I just can't stay away from you Sora." He plucked a notepad and a pen from his less than organized rucksack and it's contents, smiling a goofy but cool grin as he did so. Sora felt his stomach do a slight jump at that, but before he could reach the heavens, Cloud brought him crashing back down, winking a little. "No seriously, I can't stay away from you Sora. It's my job after all." He chuckled a little, ruffling the younger boys hair. Sora's heart fell.

"Oh." He muttered, following cloud as he made himself at home as usual. Normally the house always seemed so quiet, with the absence of his brother and his father out at work till late most nights, Sora had become used to the quiet that came with his house. However, having Cloud in the house and flopping himself down on the couch, Sora noticed the silence begin to ebb away. It was a welcomed relief after all the awkward silences and harsh pauses the day had been filled with. In fact, he would be relieved when he could finally put this day behind him. Cloud smiled, opening his notebook which essentially contained Sora's entire life story no doubt. One day he would read it, but only when he felt sane enough to do so.

"So, tell me how the day's been." Sora was sure Cloud had no idea just what a can of worms he was opening, but before he could stop himself, Sora was opening his mouth, letting out an exasperated sigh ready to recall and relive the day all over again. It had after all, been quite a day.

"Well..."

And all the words that followed, centered around one boy who had become the newest bane of Sora's ever so complicated life.

_Riku Ivana. _


	3. it felt kind of wonderful

**A/N:** Paul Rudnick once said '_"Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. It's a matter of doing everything you can to avoid writing, until it is about four in the morning and you reach the point where you have to write." _Can you guys forgive me then, for spending such a long time procrastinating and eating from the cereal box, and consider now my 4am in the morning? I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. I can come up with numerous reasons as to why I haven't, but really it all boils down to that I'm president of the club of fail. So for you guys, as a huge apology and a present for being so undeniable wonderful and not flaming me for not updating, I've written this extra long and hopefully extra good chapter! I also solemnly swear to update more often from now on.

Once again, and as usual, yeah I don't own kingdom hearts or any of it's characters, that would be the lucky buggers at square enix, but if I did, riku would always be half naked. Or fully naked. Either way we'd be happy.

* * *

"---and so he drives me home, and the whole car journey is awkward and silent and still that doesn't seem to get the message across that I want nothing to do with him. I honestly couldn't have made it any clearer had I put a shirt on that said 'I hate you. go die.' I mean, it's impossible for someone that dense to exist right? And also, where does he get off telling me how to live my life? Sorry Riku Ivana, but I failed to see who died and made you Dr Drew all of a sudden." The tone alone that Sora was speaking in was enough to prove to anyone of his fervent distaste for Riku, but Sora, never one to do things half heartedly, applied along with his tone matching and elaborate hand gestures of frustration and exasperation. Cloud could nothing however, but chuckle lightly at the throwing of hands in the air, and the occasional grunt of annoyance Sora would let out between sentences when he left enough space. Casually writing short hand notes on what Sora was saying, he couldn't help but smile out of satisfaction. It peaked Sora's attention, and frowning, the small brunette cocked an eyebrow, crossing his arms in an almost...well, actually more totally that almost...childish fashion. "Did I say something funny cloud?"

"Not particularly, though looking through my notes I'd say this could all possibly be considered stand up material. Maybe you should consider part timing at the laughter lounge?" Cloud teased gently, chuckling into the back of his hand as he normally did. Sora's tension in his body which had become pent up and unreasonably uncomfortable because of his Riku inspired rant, released at the soft action. Sighing, he laughed a little in disbelief, shaking his head almost helplessly.

"You're so unbelievable..." Sora sighed again, this time slumping back into the comfort of his sofa as he did so, letting his body become floppy and jelly like in a bid to release his ever present tension. He looked down, unsure of what he could have said that was so amusing. Did Cloud not fully understand just how serious this was? Had he not been listening to Sora at all as he'd gone on and on about how much of a plague to life Riku was? Even though Sora had only met him today, his instant dislike was permanent. How could that be a laughing matter in any way, shape or form? Sora just couldn't understand it, and looking down at his bare feet which had gone pale from how cold his house was, he sighed. Cloud in the meantime cocked an eyebrow, pointing his pen at Sora and jabbing it at the air in his direction. Sora raised his own eyebrows, finally looking up at Clouds air jabbing.

"I'd rather be unbelievable than unreasonable. Sora, this Riku sounds like a fairly alright guy. Look at the facts; you aren't an albeit charming guy Sora. I can say this safely since you know, it's the truth. You're rude and brash and have a tendency to lash out at anything you don't like, and for most people that's a bit intimidating. People don't tend to approach you often out of free will Sora, I've seen it...." cloud sighed a little, no doubt moved by how tragic a person Sora really was before continuing. "...but Riku spoke to you out of his own free will. And probably against his better judgment too. Secondly the guy gave you a ride home, which I strangely don't condone because he's a stranger, but I'm going to defend anyway to prove my point. He gave you a ride home when honestly, he didn't have to. He could have just driven straight passed you. Heck, he could've driven straight passed you and gone through a puddle on the way to soak you to the bone as an act of vengeance. But he didn't."

Cloud folded his hands, leaning forward as if to appeal to Sora's better nature. Instinctively, Sora lowered his gaze to avoid those startling blue eyes which always seemed to get the best out of him. "Surely all that has to count for something? If you ask me, it sounds like Riku is trying to be a friend. And I'm sorry Sora for being so blunt...but you haven't had many of those since Leon left..." Cloud trailed off, and for a moment between the two males, there was silence and thought.

As much as Sora hated to admit it, Cloud was right. Ever since Leon, his brother, had skipped town to avoid the cops, Sora had had little social interaction with the world. At first, he blamed the tag which had been place on his ankle, he blamed the early curfew that had been enforced for him by the law, he blamed the watchful eyes of those waiting to just take him down for crimes he hadn't committed. But over time he'd realized, that there were other things that needed to be blamed. Himself being one of them. Ever since his brother had left, Sora had secluded himself in a shell that he made impossible for anyone to break, or even chisel at slightly. He'd adopted an attitude that made him abrasive and unappealing to the world, and so far, had pushed almost everyone away from him. Cloud was right. Sora had no friends with the exception of Roxas and Cloud, and somehow he got the feeling they both only tolerated him out of pity. Clearing his throat, he tried to avoid the subject and clouds gaze.

"Since when have you ever been apologetic for being blunt?"

_Avoiding the subject is undoubtedly your forte Sora._

It worked though, and laughing and sort of sighing at the same time, Cloud gave up on the bid to get Sora owning up to his lack of friends. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day, and Cloud had several more months to help change the boys pessimistic out view on life.

"I suppose today I'm just feeling generous with my apologies. It might be a side effect of the out of date milk I accidentally drank earlier." Sora laughed lightly, thankful that Cloud had decided to drop the subject. It made things easier when Cloud didn't push it.

"Dairy products will do that to you...it's common knowledge." Cloud laughed lightly at Sora's comment as he began replacing his notebook into his faded backpack which not only looked old in color but also in most other respects too. The holes were a giveaway that cloud probably hadn't replaced it for centuries. Sora frowned.

"Isn't it a little weird for a man your age to still use a backpack?" Cloud smiled, that warm and carefree smile he always smiled, not once taking his eyes off his things.

"Oh yes, because I'm so old that I clearly knew both Ramses and Caesar personally. Yeah, those were the good old days of chariot races and gladiator fights." Sora smirked at Clouds lame joking. As usual, it was adorable and charming in a way that only Cloud could make it so.

"Ah, I suppose I've just been in denial that this backpack is a way for me to cling to my wilting youth." Cloud placed a hand to his heart, and casting sidewards glance at Sora gave a casual jesting wink. Sora's stomach flipped, and laughing a shaky laugh he hoped to high heavens that the blush he felt rising in his cheeks wasn't showing. If it did, Cloud showed no signs of seeing it as he busied himself, throwing his backpack over his shoulder in one fluid and perfect motion that made Sora envious and overcome with shudders all at the same time. Was there ever anything Cloud couldn't do perfectly? Even when the blonde looked down at his watch, he did so in an elegant and graceful way that had Sora awe struck. The extension of his arm, the way his wrist was slender but manly all at the same time, the furrowing of his brow and the intent gaze with which he looked at the small clock face on his wrist. Sora wanted that gaze on him as usual...

"I better get going. I'm sorry we had to cut our session short today. I'll make it up to you tomorrow by bringing cinnamon smoothies though." cloud smiled, and Sora found himself smiling in return as they began walking to the front door.

"Sure. Hey, maybe I'll think up some new material for you too." Sora scoffed, referring back to the early comment about his Riku inspired rant that Cloud thought was so amusing. Cloud laughed lightly, shaking his head in bewilderment, and tugging his backpack further onto his shoulder.

"I actually hope you don't get the chance Sora. Riku...he doesn't sound like a bad person." Sora frowned, once again silent and eager to avoid the conversation that Cloud always insisted on having. The older male was tenacious to say the least on the subject of friends. "Would it kill you to try and let someone in for once? It's not nice to see you so lonely all the time. Leon wouldn't want it either..." Sora bristled noticeably at the second mention of his brothers name, and his normally warm attitude towards cloud began to melt away in an instant, being replaced by his usual frosty exterior. Cloud, noticing the change in the boy immediately sighed and shook his head, before mustering a kind and gentle smile to ward off any sudden lashings Sora might have thrown at him. "At least think about it OK?"

Sora sighed, sagging his shoulders a little as he watched Cloud open the door. Why was everyone so intent on him being friends with Riku Ivana? First Roxas, and now Cloud. Did Sora really come across as that lonely? That needy? Is that what they all really thought of him? Sora wanted to come back at Cloud with some sarcastic retort that he would rather die by painful means than contemplate having Riku as a friend, but he couldn't help but think, if it wasn't going to be Riku, cloud would only try and get Sora to be friends with someone else. Arguing in that moment, was futile, and disappointed with himself he merely sighed once more, mustering his own faux sincere smile in reply.

"I'll.." cloud looked at him expectantly, and grasping the door handle of the front door, Sora twisted opening it slowly. Cloud deflated in hope, and smiled hopelessly at the stubbornness Sora always had hid behind. "...see you tomorrow." Cloud nodded, still smiling that hopeless smile as he grasped Sora shoulder for a moment before sliding silently out of the door. Sora, closing it behind him let out a long breath that he hadn't realized he'd even been holding. Suddenly, the room felt so silent and empty. The house seemed bigger now he was alone. Placing a hand to his forehead, Sora felt a headache slowly approaching and his mood instantly felt crabbier than usual. Which, in light of how crabby the boy was generally, was not a good thing. Placing his back against the door, Sora slowly slid down until his butt touched the floor. In his mind, Clouds words echoed loudly and clearly.

_It's not nice to see you so lonely all the time._

Was he lonely though? Until today, Sora had never really thought much about it. It was one of those things that he'd drawn a veil over and decided to ignore for a long time now. So why had everyone chosen today to start removing that veil? Maybe he'd misread the calendar and today was actually 'Piss on Sora's already pissy parade' day. Groaning a low exhausted groan, Sora tried to push it from his mind. But, much against his will a new voice echoed in his mind as if on cue.

_No one likes to be alone Sora. _

Why, out of all the annoying voices available, did it have to be Riku's that came to mind last? And why...was it so strangely comforting? Sora groaned in frustration.

"God must hate me.."

* * *

"Has anyone ever told you holding grudges can cause acute baldness?" Roxas nodded a self assured nod, casually throwing his arm around Sora's shoulders as he did so. Sora quickly shrugged it off, earning a melodramatic and exasperated sigh from his friend. OK, so maybe Sora was holding a grudge he ought not to be holding, but honestly, what was Roxas expecting? He had after all left Sora stranded in the middle of the street in the rain, then at the mercy of Riku Ivana not but 24 hours ago.

"You think the threat of losing my hair is enough to get me to forgive you Roxas? Some of us aren't that vain or easy." Sora scoffed. Roxas pouted a sickly sweet cute pout, and Sora felt his reserve crumble slightly as a chuckle surpassed his lips for a moment.

"I was only thinking of you. As any best friend would! You might not think the world revolves around aesthetics Sora, but believe me when I say those who are folically challenged don't get as far in the world as those with luscious locks such as myself!" Roxas, for good measure and emphasis, ran a hand through his blonde fashionably styled hair. Sora on the other hand, merely shook his head. "Look at Dr Phil. That's all I'm saying."

Sora chuckled again despite himself, feeling somewhat lightened by Roxas's jokes and attempts to get him to laugh. It was strange, after last night and the entirety of yesterday as a whole, Sora had anticipated he would be in the foulest of moods today. After all, not only had he had to endure the slow and painful torture of a car ride home with Riku and his stupid life morales, but the one person he'd trusted to take his side, since Roxas thought he was so sexually deprived that he wasn't going to be taking it any time soon, had gone completely against him and sided with all others. In the space of 24 hours, he'd been tortured, labeled as so sexually dormant he probably didn't even remember how to use it, and told that he essentially...was just a lonely person altogether. Ergo, he'd expected to be in a less than pleasant mood today, but for some reason, he felt oddly fine. Not great...but fine was a start when it came to Sora. That factor alone brought a simple smile to his face. An action which had Roxas staring at him wide eyed and surprised.

"What...is there something on my face?" Sora immediately started rubbing his cheeks for any sign of the peanut butter he'd been eating on his toast for breakfast, but found nothing. Roxas smirked, his eyes still a little wide as he shook his head.

"Well, if you mean other than the expression of a _normal_ human being..no, there's nothing on your face."

"Har-har. Has anyone ever told you how funny you are?" Sora replied, a smirk playing on his lips. Roxas beamed, thinking it was a genuine compliment.

"You know, people have told me that before."

"They lied." There was a moments silence between the two as Sora smirked, watching as Roxas stared unsure what to even say. Sora couldn't help but laugh again, but louder and more genuinely from the stomach this time. After all, hadn't Roxas walked straight into that one? Sometimes it was almost too easy. As Sora continued to laugh from the stunned stupid look on Roxas's face, the other boy seemed to regain consciousness from the verbal knock out he'd just walked straight into. Cocking an eyebrow, he eyed Sora suspiciously as they approached the doors to the large drama auditorium for their first lesson. Sora, glancing sideways, caught sight of Roxas's dubious skeptical look. He himself, cocked an eyebrow.

"Why do you keep looking at me like there's something suspicious about to happen?" Sora prodded, standing in the doorway for a moment as he looked back at Roxas. The blonde boy still had that look on his face.

"You're in too good of a mood for me to feel at ease. At least when you're crabby I know what you're thinking. Like this...I don't know. You could be planning my murder for all I know." Sora rolled his eyes at Roxas's dramatics.

"What, is it against the law for me to be happy or something?"

"Well, breaking the law is you're style isn't it So?" A cocky and lightheartedly sarcastic voice spoke from behind the pair of them. Almost in unison, Sora and Roxas turned to look at the intruder upon their conversation, and almost in unison they smiled, spotting their fiery haired friend who leaned his long frame casually against the wall beside them. Neither Sora nor Roxas said a word, but both only looked upon the boy with dumb smiles plastered on their faces as if they had seen a ghost that told jokes or something. Axel pouted at the silence, quickly losing all his elegant aura and air about him as he pushed hard away from the wall, placing his hands on his hips in an adamant toddler like way. "What sort of greeting is this?! God, I come all this way, I expect a little---"

At that moment, both boys cut him off, reaching out once again in unison to tackle the tall red head as they smiled and hurriedly spoke loudly over one another. From a third person perspective, it looked as though they were trying to outdo each other, but if you knew the bond between the three of them, you would know. The emotions all three felt, was pure and unadulterated excitement.

"What are you doing here?"

"When did you get back?!"

"Did you bring us presents?!"

"Couldn't you have called?"

"Are you done with filming?"

"Did you meet anyone famous?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" the long list of questions ended with Sora and Roxas screaming their final question together, each grasping a lapel of Axel's stylish jacket as they pinned him against the wall once more. Axel frowned, pouting slightly and pushing their hands off the jacket, brushing it off and straightening himself out.

"Jesus, watch the merchandise. This jacket cost almost $500. Keep ye peasant hands off it kapeesh?" Axel looked down at the two boys in front of him, noting their serious glares and laughing nervously in return, rubbing the back of his neck for a moment. "H-ha...I'm only kidding. Please, grapple away?" Neither of them moved, and for a moment, Axel was relieved. After a small silence as Roxas and Sora numbed their glares, the three boys started walking into the auditorium as Axel casually retold his story and his reasons for his arrival as they did so, throwing in the elegant and unnecessary hand gesture as he did so.

"Well, filming actually ended a month or so ago. I've been doing a lot of promotional stuff after the last month I've had free but, you know since I've missed you guys so badly I thought why not come back for a short visit? I'm all about the little people guys." He smiled, closing his eyes for a moment and nodding his head. Roxas and Sora looked across at each other, rolling their eyes together before looking forward, suddenly uninterested by their friend they had been so excited about not seconds ago.

"You got fired didn't you?" Roxas asked, in a dull 'we expected that much' sort of tone. Axel gaped, as if he intended to defend himself, before Sora and Roxas in that unified way once again, spoke.

"Fired." Axel gaped dejectedly as they maneuvered into some nearby seats with the rest of the class, and pouting, he crossed his arms, clearly outdone by the smaller boys. Still, never one to let it drop, Axel piped up.

"It's only temporary you know. That's what it's like in the acting business. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don't. Besides the movie was going to be a bust anyway. Like I, AXEL, would want to be associated with something like that." For a moment, he beamed, having regained some of his dignity. However it didn't take long before Sora, the sweeping eagle of dignity thievery, snatched it from right under him.

"Last time I checked, 'one of the most anticipated blockbusters of the summer' and I quote, was not the definition of a bust." Roxas laughed a loud and outright laugh, and Axel...well Axel just pouted and crossed his arms, looking away in a childish sulking manner. Sora himself chuckled lightly, nudging Roxas slightly before shaking his head. A smile lingered on his lips for a moment, until of course he felt a movement in the seat next to him as someone sat down.

It didn't take a genius to figure out just who the culprit was that had occupied the seat next to him. After all, the rest of the school was afraid of Sora or disgusted by him thanks to his 'criminal association' as they called it. There were only four people in the world who Sora felt weren't that way inclined in opinion. Two of which, were already sitting In the two seats to his left. And since Sora highly doubted Cloud had come to pay him a rare visit during his schooling hours, he could only assume that the culprit was a certain silver haired Russian prat.

"Good morning Sora." Riku smiled, as Sora dropped his. "Was everything OK once you got home yesterday?"

_God, why is it whenever I hear you say my name I get pins and needles in my spine? Could I just convince you not to say my name, since you make it sound so common and so stupid and so unpleasant? You know what Riku, how about you just never talk to me ever again. This would not only solve all my problems and yours no doubt, but it would also mean that I could sit next to you without feeling my body go all goosebumpy. Thanks very much. _

Sora had wanted to say all of that in response, but two things inhibited him. One, was that no matter how much gumption he mustered to do so, the words just didn't want to escape from his dry mouth. For some reason, the idea of actually conversing with Riku so boldly made him want to crawl in a hole and have a stern talk with himself for getting so...worked up? No, that wasn't it. The second thing, more importantly in a sort of 'saving my life' sort of way, was that Mr Hamby the stereotypical flamboyant drama teacher had waltzed on stage, extending his arms and greeting the class.

"Budding Thespians! How wonderful it is to see you once again. You're faces tell me you have come, packed to the brim with creativity and productivity to expand you're theatrical horizons! But, as Isabelle Huppert once said, Theatre is always a difficult experience!" Axel scoffed, still under the impression that even though he had been fired from his one time ever acting role in a movie that he was the acting god. Roxas in turned, smirked, something Sora also wanted to do had it not been for Riku sitting next to him. For some reason, he became like a block of ice around the boy, and to avoid entirely freezing over Sora tried to fixate his blue eyes upon his drama teacher. Only occasionally, he would find himself casting sideway glances at silver hair.

"Today, our lesson is improvisation. And our theme, is loss and death. In pairs, I hope to see you emote the feelings of morbidity that come with death, and the stench of pain that comes with loss." Sora frowned at Mr Hamby's overuse of a adjectives, but remaining silent he decided not to question it. Instead, he thought about what he could do as a solo performance. After all, Sora rarely got paired with anyone. Sometimes it was fortunately down to odd numbers in the class, but a lot of the time, Sora found his solo act was down to the fact no one wanted to pair with him. Well, that suited him fine. Going it alone was what he was good at.

"I'd like to be your partner Sora." There was no mistaking the Russian accent, and turning his head too sharply, Sora felt his neck crack. One more thing to blame Riku for. Sora frowned at the silverette, who merely smiled back that knowing and smooth smile he'd seen one times to many yesterday.

"There's a lot of things people would like in this world. Fortunately for me, not everyone gets their own way all the time." Meaning, in layman's terms, Sora would not be partnering with Riku any time soon. Mr Hamby began calling out the names of the pairs, but Sora now could only hear the rush of angry blood in his ears as he sat, furiously trying to not look at Riku but feeling his dazed and soft smile directed at him none the less.

_Just don't look Sora, become stone. Eye's forward. This time listen, do not under any circumstances look at Rik-WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO LOOK?_

Sora inwardly attacked himself as he found himself casting an obvious sidewards glance once again at Riku. Why couldn't he just keep his eyes forward? His inner voice was right, why did he always have to look? It was almost as if he _wanted _to look at Riku. Thankfully he noted that the boy wasn't looking at him anymore anyway, though instead, his eyes seemed to be fixed on the fabric of the auditorium chairs as his long and slender fingers picked at an idle thread which had come loose over the years of usage. Sora frowned, for some reason annoyed but interested by Riku's fascination with the thread. For a moment, he was so fixated by the thread himself that he almost didn't notice the long squeal that came from Roxas beside him. Snapping out of his daze, Sora looked to see Roxas furiously clinging to Axel with eyes alight. Axel returned the desperate cling and from the hushed whispers and excitement they shared, Sora could only come to one conclusion; they'd been paired together. This peaked his interest, an uncommon occurrence.

Looking around, he noticed how everyone, every single person had paired off, now sitting in their select couples as they frantically discussed what they were going to perform and arguing over who got what role. Dread rose in Sora's stomach. After all, the weight next to him, the piercing green eyes that were still intently focused on a piece of red thread from the chair had not moved to be paired off with anyone. Sucking in a foreboding breath, Sora looked up at Mr Hamby, who with a bright smile only nodded.

_This cannot be happening._

"This cannot be happening." It was for once, one of those rare occasions were Sora actually said what he was thinking. Riku looked up, seemingly awoken from his intent thread staring, smiled. Or rather remained smiling since he hadn't stopped. Sora looked away sharply, watching helplessly as Roxas and Axel went off on their own, clearly excited by the prospect of acting together. Sora however, was enveloped in a dark cloud.

"Is there anything specific you'd like to perform?" Riku leaned forward, meeting Sora's heated and angry stare with ease and a gracious smile. Had his arms not been so tightly crossed in sulking manner, Sora would have reached out right there and then and smacked that smile off his face.

_But be honest, the idea of actually hitting him makes you feel sad right?_

"Hardly!" Sora protested in response to his inner voice. Riku cocked a perfectly shaped eyebrow, and sighing, Sora looked across at him dully, opening his mouth he intended to come out with a sarcastic answer to Riku's question. But something stopped him. Inside his head, he heard Clouds voice as if he were some sort of persistent conscience.

_It's not nice to see you so lonely all the time._

Sighing, Sora just shrugged reservedly. Neither being a bitch, or being a friend to Riku. He was just being. This seemed enough to set the silver haired boy off in a positive direction, and smiling still he adjusted himself so he could sit better facing Sora. In the moments that he shifted, Sora couldn't help but look momentarily over at him. For what it was worth, Riku did show some sort of flaw. Despite his elegant looks and perfect features which annoyed Sora to no extent, he wasn't all that elegant when he tried to cram himself into the chair in an awkward sideways position. His legs, too long to be comfortable in the position he was sitting, made him look out of place and uncomfortable, and Sora actually felt some sort of likability towards the boy. His perfection shedding away, for a split second he didn't seem like a complete waste of space. However, Riku undid this quickly, with the simple action of speaking.

"Let's be a good team together Sora." It was a simple statement. Not meaning any offensive. But just like every time Riku spoke, Sora found himself wanting to wring his own neck. Hopefully the class, and the improvised performance would go by quickly so Sora could go back to avoiding Riku. Until then, he just had to grit his teeth and bare it.

* * *

"BOO!" On stage, Axel jumped from behind Roxas, brandishing his arms in what the audience could only assume was his way of representing being a floating ghost. Roxas, the victim of a frightful scare, grasped at his heart, falling to his knees slowly and gasping for breath.

"Holy shit...you scared me!" Axel's mouth formed a perfect O shape, and holding out his hands apologetically, he shook his head.

"I-i didn't mean to. Are you ok?"

"No goddamit! I'm having heart palpitations over here! I think I'm dying!" Roxas snapped, playing up to his role well with lots of heart grabbing and pained expressions. Axel, the tormented spirit of the piece, tugged at his hair as he turned full face to the audience, directing his next line towards them.

"Oh god, this is the second time I've killed a man from being so frightful. My life is cursed to being murderous. Whatever should I do?"

"Call an ambulance! Call Dr Phil! Call anyone!" Roxas, now sinking lower but still grasping his heart, proclaimed reaching out to Axel. The red head nodded desperatly, disappearing for a moment behind the curtain, only to reappear quickly back on stage in a split second. He sunk down next to Roxas, pulling his body onto his lap and looking down at the heart attack victim with desperatly worried eyes.

"I called the ambulance. And the Pizza guy. Help is on it's way my dear friend...Just stay with me!" He shook Roxas for a moment violently. "Stay with me man, for the sake of the extra cheese, extra pepperoni, no olive goodness that awaits you're healthy return to life!" There was silence for a moment, and everyone watched on tenderhooks, some even leaning forward slightly in their seats as Roxas spluttered his dying words. From the second row, Sora only his his face in his palm, ashamed that two morons quite like Axel and Roxas were...undeniably...his friends.

"axel...please...when I die...tell my kids..." there was another brief pause as Axel clasped his hand over Roxas's own, nodding his head slightly as he waited for the final words, which came out in a much more breathy whisper. "...I'm not their real father!" Axel's mouth gaped open once more for a second, before he closed it, pursing his lips in a thin line and nodding sorrowfully. Roxas outstretched his hand to the 'heavens' with what Sora assumed to be a spluttering breath.

"I...I see the light. I think, Im dying..." he paused again, arching his back slightly as if heaving his last breath, before slowly sinking down to become limp, uttering a faint whisper as he 'died'. Axel sobbed loud and hard, losing points for realism as his face slipped into a smiling expression for a split second. Sora smirked, and for a moment in the seat next to him, felt the jostle as Riku stifled a laugh. Looking over at the corner of his eye, Sora almost felt a pang of familiarity as he saw Riku perform the same action as Cloud did, stifling his laughter behind the back of his hand. Clearing his throat, Sora tried not to stare, but for some reason, he couldn't help but think it looked ok on Riku. The action. It suited him.

"He's dead!" Axel's sob broke the moment, and looking round, Sora watched as his red headed friend stumbled to the front of the stage once more, placing a hand to his head in the cliché dramatic motion. "Gone forever!"

And then there was a silence, for what seemed like forever. Sora thought maybe Axel had forgotten his lines, but when he smiled, and Roxas got up from his 'dead' position, everyone became aware that that was the finishing line for the play. The auditorium broke into slow applaud, and rolling his eyes, Sora stood up, clapping insanely and letting out yells of victory for his friends on stage. The rest of the class looked on at him as he supported his friends, not doubt thinking he was crazy, but really Sora didn't care. So maybe their piece wasn't fantastic, but honestly? It was high school drama class. Not the royal Shakespeare company.

Roxas and Axel bowed in unison, smiling proudly as they were ushered off stage by Mr Hamby coming on stage, who surprisingly was applauding in a similar way to how Sora had, ever the one to be enthused by whatever drama was presented to him. He smiled, letting his clapping come to an end before addressing the 'audience' once more in that flamboyant tone. "That ladies and gentlemen was 'And he didn't even get to eat Pizza' by Roxas and Axel. A truly dazzling performance that no doubt captured the true ambiance of sorrow felt from death, am I right?"

"Yep. Definitely the true ambiance alright." Sora remarked sarcastically to himself, despite having shown them such support. Riku cocked an eyebrow next to him.

"You didn't enjoy it?" Sora sighed. Were they really going to have a conversation? Why did they have to anyway? Still, he was trying something, something new for Cloud's sake. Shrugging his shoulders, Sora replied.

"I didn't hate it if thats what you mean. But, let's face it, it was hardly realistic as to what death is really like." he scoffed, shaking his head before continuing. "Be honest, when have you ever seen a guy die like that? Or more over, when does a person ever call for the Pizza guy when their friend is on deaths door?"

"People...do strange things when death is presented to them." Sora, curious by Riku's remark, turned his head a little to look at the boy, finding his breath caught in his throat as his eyes instantly connected with startling emerald ones that had been looking intently at him. When did Riku's eyes become so...green? "I would actually prefer a humorous death like that. It beats the macabre any day don't you think?"

Sora frowned, smirking a little in a non malicious sort of way afterward. "You think about death often?"

There was a silence after that, after Riku who's eyes had been shining and bright dulled and looked away. Sora felt awkward staring, and quickly averted his gaze so as not to be looking at the back of Riku's head as he turned away from Sora momentarily. What was with the sudden mood change? Was Riku so focused on death that he was embarrassed? Sora hadn't taken him for one of those Gothic kids that focused on death a lot, but then, this was probably the first time Sora had attempted a decent somewhat resemblance of a conversation with Riku. Maybe he was that sort of Gothic person...Sora didn't know. But oddly, he did care in a way. Clearing his throat, he tried to rid the air of the awkward silence, and standing up, he nudged Riku's leg with his foot.

"Come on, we're up." For a moment, Riku didn't respond and Sora wandered if he had really for once in his life, gone too far. Leaning down, he made an attempt to tap Riku on the shoulder, but before he could make a connection, the silverette turned his head, a small smile on his lips as he did so before he stood up also. Sora staggered back a little, surprised by his sudden movement, before remembering to regain his cool composure. Scoffing, he shook his head, turning away and walking away to make his way to the stage, muttering as he did so.

"What a weirdo..."

_Still, weird or not, why are you blushing Sora? Maybe it's you who's the weirdo._

_

* * *

  
_

On stage, it was different. Riku felt his mind swim with nostalgia. The last time he'd been on stage was with his violin in Moscow. The last time it had felt like an achievement, something to be proud of. But standing in front of Sora, both of them faced with the scrutinizing eyes of the audience, it felt more like a test. For Riku, it was a bigger test than one could ever imagine. Looking up from beneath his silver bangs, his eyes fixed on the small brunette in front of him. Questions swam quickly through his mind, each one blending with the other making it hard for Riku to string together one question he wanted to address first. He wasn't sure, but for some reason, Sora had his mind well and truly screwed up.

The boy was harsh, and abrasive like a nylon pan scrubber. And his attitude toward Riku was less than welcoming. But, despite the iciness the boy directed at him, beyond the smirks and the scowls and the heated angry stares, Riku saw something like a hidden gem waiting to be discovered inside the smaller boy. Something about the way he was, the way his face relaxed when he thought nobody was looking...it called out to Riku. There was something about the boy that seemed pained and lonely, like a child that wanted to be held so tenderly but never felt the satisfaction of a warm embrace. Even now, standing in front of him awkwardly on stage, Sora seemed like that unloved individual. His hands hung limply by his sides, and his feet Riku noticed, shifted inwards a little like that of a child. Scanning over his features, Riku felt himself captivated by those startling blue eyes, which silently he urged to look at him directly. He wanted to feel their ferocity. He wanted to drown and burn in them all at the same time. He wanted them to devour him whole so he could happily admit to being a part of Sora.

Because, strangely, he found himself wanting that more than he had wanted anything else in the world. Sora, much like Riku himself, seemed to have lost something. And it showed so clearly to Riku who had felt the loss of something himself. Together, they were like puzzles, each one missing a certain piece that was lost forever. And that, Riku felt, made them similar. He felt like he could understand Sora, and given half the chance, he wanted to show that to the boy. Sora shuffled his feet a little, before letting out one of those tragic and heavy sighs Riku had found himself accustomed to receiving.

"Just...say something already." Sora spoke the words so naturally, as if they weren't acting at all. And honestly, Riku felt they weren't. The stares of the audience had melted away long ago, and now Riku saw only him and Sora in the room. Frowning a deep and creasing frown, Riku drew in a breath sharply through his teeth. What could he say without confessing everything he wanted to to Sora? The boy was dangerous, he made Riku was to blurt out his entire life, all his secrets, and yet Riku couldn't help but feel that he would still be unappreciative of the that. What could Riku do in that moment to make all the pain he saw and the pain he himself felt go away? Reaching forward, he took Sora carefully by the hand, locking eyes with the boy for a moment as he pulled him towards his body. When he was closer, Riku wrapped his arms swiftly around the smaller boy, not caring that he wasn't holding him back and kept his hands at his sides. Riku didn't need to be held back, not yet anyway. But feeling this close to Sora...right now it was enough. He sighed, placing his lips next to Sora's ear affectionatly, his own body tingling from the feeling of being so close to the one person he felt a spark with. Whispering, he closed his eyes, lost in some self satisfying bliss.

"Don't ever leave me."

* * *

What...was this guy doing?

_Doesn't this feel familiar? This hold? This embrace? Doesn't it remind you of hold you've seen before? Doesn't it remind you of the way he once held him? The strength of his arms and Rikus arms appear to be similar. Don't you think so Sora? Isn't this oddly nostalgic of a betrayal you've felt before? _

Sora gritted his teeth, pushing away memories as he wriggled stiffly in Riku's arms for a moment, trying to free himself. The arms that held him, embraced him, were strong and comfortable but at the same time they made Sora feel dirty and betrayed. Why did Riku have to be so goddamn selfish, why couldn't he just keep himself to himself. Did he have no knowledge of boundaries? Personal space? Clenching his jaw and closing his eyes tightly, Sora wriggled once again, feeling the gazes of the surprised audience as they watched the scene unfold before them.

Why does it feel like we aren't acting right now though? Even with all these eyes looking at us, it doesn't feel like a play...

No. Sora couldn't allow this. His mind, as confused and angry as it was, slowly began to reclaim the power of his body and bringing his arms up as best as he could within Riku's hold, Sora placed his hand on the taller boys chest. Then, with one swift motion, he pushed Riku away, breaking the grip of his arms and bringing his harsh and angry blue eyes to glare directly into Riku's emerald ones. He noticed the hurt that seemed to swim in with the green hues, and had this been a few moments ago, when they had been sitting in the second row, Sora might have actually felt some sort of sympathy for him. But now, only anger remained to be directed at Riku. Riku who had brought back memories that Sora tried so hard to forget.

There was a silence, a long pause that seemed to say everything and nothing at all, before Riku finally broke it with a low and almost inaudible whisper.

"Why don't you like me..." It wasn't really a question, but more a hopeless statement. Still in his anger Sora felt the need to answer with one violent answer spoken through clenched teeth.

"Because I couldn't stand it if I did." Then, when a pause was to be expected, there wasn't. Instead, the auditorium seemed to be filled with the sound of Sora's quick footsteps as he found himself, sprinting to escape the room and the memories and Riku. Mostly Riku. Mostly Riku who didn't care about who he hurt, about who he embraced and made it seem to effortless and meaningless. Sora, who hated to be touched like that ever since...he sighed, looking around and finding that he'd sprinted into an empty corridor almost five minutes from the auditorium. Gritting his teeth again, he placed his back against the wall, clenching his eyes shut and sucking in deep breaths through his teeth as he slid down, shaking his head a little. He was so frustrated, so infuriated by everything. And even though the embrace back there had brought back certain memories that Sora wished to forget all over again immediately, the worst part of the frustration was that...even though he'd found Riku's embrace so negative, aside from all that...

_It had actually felt...kind of wonderful. _


End file.
